Episode 81 "Emergency Situation"}
Wish
A "wish".
It isn't a shimmering glass ball which will shatter if grasped firmly.
It's a darkly lustrous ball of mud which only firms up when one squeezes it.
Its form may be uneven, but it's the form of one's own fingers.
Not to make it a beautiful gem someday.
But to make it the world's most beautiful ball of mud.
A princess in clown's lipstick kisses you awake from your nap
You dreamers' tickets to your meeting are for a false VIP air force
I don't have time, what time is it? Class starts in five minutes
Don't rush, this is important, I meet you in five minutes
Venus is my neighbor, so why did it sneak up on me
Jesus is sitting right across from me, what do I do?
Here comes his attack, pretending he didn't hear my 'bye-bye'
He shows his shock, this is like a living hell
A wakeup kick for a greeting, my bare feet are always cut up
If you toss the chips in your hand at that girl, you may just sweep her off her feet in three winks
I don't hate you, I just don't like you, I don't know what I'm feeling
Don't wait, this is just a lull, I disappear with you in five minutes
Venus, she's always so lonely, don't look away
Jesus, if you're across from me, please listen
Episode 77 "Fire Drill"
Outside my window, the sky stretches out forever.
Sunning myself in the early summer breeze feels so pleasant.
Ahh, it smells like summer.
Wait, is something burning?
This is fire drill! This is only a drill!
Oh, I see, they're having a fire drill...somewhere...
A fire has broken out. I repeat, a fire has broken out.
A simulated fire has broken out on the riverbank.
Wait, are you really gonna set a fire for that!?
What the hell are you doing, you walking emergency!?
Hey, Ric. That was fast, you're the first one out.
This isn't a simulation, it's arson! Arson!
Don't worry, I cut the grass around it.
Oh, I see, that way it won't spread.
Don't panic, Recruit!
What!? You're here, Mayor!?
I'm glad you came running when you saw the fire,
but you need to stay cool at times like these, right?
Even if you're scared of fire, remember, we can control it.
Then why don't you get down from there and tell me that!?
Sister, you can't spoil him like that!
This isn't spoiling—
My tummy's growling.
Thanks, Sister.
Sister, your cookies are the best!
What are you, Sister, some kind of mother bird?
That's just weird! I know you have a habit of handing out food, but...
Well... If you did the same thing, it'd just open up a hornet's nest.
And isn't that a bit too resolute?!
I owe the Mayor a deep debt.
Ahh, I'm almost boiling...
Thanks a ton, Sister!
Wait, isn't that "collagen-infused delicious water"?
I can feel it jiggling around in my bowl! How thoughtful!
Oh, it's nothing.
That's not just too thoughtful, it's completely overdoing it!
It's said that when a kappa loses all the water from the bowl on his head, he becomes as powerless as a baby.
Episode 78 "Teamwork"
Are we too close to the fire?
Shall we move?
Nah, this is fine.
Anyway, I've been curious about this for a while.
If there's anything you need, just tell me.
Why's sister only respectful to the Mayor?
He doesn't seem all that strong.
He's kind of frivolous.
There's no reason for Sister to be that deferential.
Man, it's hot.
What, you showed up first?
Star!
Wow, it's really damn hot this year...
You're melting!
Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap!
Wow, there's Ric!
Oh. You're here early.
Wow, everyone's showing up.
It's our yearly tradition.
Oh, really?
So what's going to happen now?
The highlight of any fire drill, of course. A bucket relay!
We pass a bucket full of water from the Arakawa like a baton to put out the fire.
Teamwork is vital to putting out a fire like this!
Under the bridge? With all these one man armies!? That's crazy talk!
All right, let's get started.
Yay! I wanna be first!
No, me!
Wait, it's dangerous! Kids should be in back!
A grown man should be up front, right?
You're right. A grown man.
Preferably one who isn't wearing a mask, like me, Whitey, or Sister.
Wait, why aren't I on that list?
Are you discriminating against youkai? Is that what you're doing?
No, I'm just worried about what would happen if you caught fire.
I hate the smell of burning rubber.
Idiot! If I burn, I'll be a vanishingly-rare delicacy!
Gives you immortality
I'm telling you, don't overdo it.
You think I can just stand here and let you talk about me like that?
I'll be in front! Line up, everyone!
Okay!
All right, everyone! Keep to my rhythm!
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Whether or not he calls out, everyone's all on the same page.
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Or maybe it really is because of him?
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Maybe he's more reliable than he looks.
All right, I've got it!
Heave-ho!
Hot! Hothothot!
My bowl's drying out!
So quiet down and go to the back!
I love how the Mayor stands up to adversity!
Be a man!
Do your best!
We'll get you another bucket right away!
It looks like they really do love him.
Episode 79 "Mayor Under the Bridge"
What are you doing with that, anyway!? After we worked so hard to haul it up here...
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Sister, stop spoiling him!
I'm taking a nap.
Son of a...
Here's your pillow.
Wait, seriously, what.
What are you, his servant?
I know you said you owed him before, but do you really owe him that much?
It's not just that I owe him...
Wait, is he blackmailing you somehow!?
Oh no!
The wind blew the flames!
Calm down! MBF! Remember your MBFs!
Wait, "(M)y (B)logging is (F)ucking annoying"!?
Wrong! MBF is what you do in an emergency!
Right! It's really "Don't (m)ass up, don't (b)olt, don't make a (f)uss", ain't it.
"M" = "don't mass up"
"B" = "don't bolt"
"F" = "don't make a fuss"
I knew I never should have relied on a kappa...
Mayor! What are you—
Leave it to the Mayor.
I can't just rely on some idiot in a costume!
Didn't I tell you I didn't just owe him?
The Mayor is a man so valuable that he deserves to be revered.
And I love him more than anyone else under this bridge.
But he doesn't even have a bucket...
I'm risking it all on this attack!
Mayor!?
Here goes!
Secret art of the youkai!
Kappa spray!
— Mayor!
Good job, Mayor!
Show us your guts, Mayor!
For him to use the water from his bowl...
That's useless! You're all being fooled, anyway!
Everyone's blind to the Mayor's failings.
Episode 80 "Enlightenment"
Yes, that's it. A broad bank along the middle section of the Arakawa.
Leave the construction to us.
We'll discuss this further.
Mr. Ichinomiya.
Here's the report on how Ko spent his week.
Good work.
He looks like such a fool now.
Freedom, rights, a place in the world...
They all belong to those who have earned their money!
I'll show you just how impossible it is to get them with the strength you have now.
On a riverbank resplendent in greenery, men in gray suits labored fervently.
I took it far too lightly.
I wonder what they're up to?
Okay, let's move to the next point.
What are you doing?
We're surveying the riverbank.
What, for research or something?
No, we're checking things out before building.
It's really well kept-up around here. Almost like a park.
Oookay....
Have you been further downstream? Maybe there's a tennis court.
What's this all of a sudden!? Is it already decided on!?
We don't really know either.
But the CEO himself is in charge of this project, so...
Wait, where are you—
Ichi
Ichinomiya Company
We're from the Ichinomiya Group. You've probably heard of us.
Terrible news!
Nukes!?
No, not nukes.
Checkmate.
You're terrible.
Then shall I lose the second game for you?
Sister! There's plenty of scary things out there that aren't nukes!
What are you being so loud about?
Mayor! What's going on is—
Your dad bought the land under the bridge?
Yes.
What a generous father!
What, does he always go shopping when he gets stressed?
It's not that he bought it, it's that he picked up development rights extremely cheaply.
Maybe he's found out that I'm here...
I don't know what he's planning, but whatever he decides to do, he makes sure happens!
You're pretty scared of your father, aren't you.
He's scary! If you knew him, even you'd—
Ric. Let me read to you from the Bible for once.
Love thine enemy.
It's not like that!
And these are the words of Buddha.
That's not what religion is for!
"No matter who, aim here and you can take them down with one shot."
If you think if it that way, you can be kind to anyone, right?
I see...
Is that always what you think when you look at people's faces!?
Episode 81 "Emergency Situation"
All right, Ric, if you're here let's play cards instead.
Running away, I see.
Hold on! Why are you taking this so easy!? Don't you know what's happening?
Once they start construction for real, we may not be able to live here anymore!
Father may be trying to drive us away.
This isn't a fight we can win.
The police and the media are both on Father's side!
I dunno, maybe the media—
Wow, he's so cute!
will suddenly make the kappa of the Arakawa a star.
In your dreams!
Just our being here is against the law!
If he calls the police on us, they might even give us a stern warning!
Really?
Really!
Is that so?
I don't think they'd arrest us, but...
What is it?
Kidnapping
Possession of firearms
Public nuisance
Illegal alien
I'm 100% sure they'd arrest you!
Go back to England right away!
Don't worry, Recruit.
I've taught Sister the magic words to use if that happens.
Magic!?
Oh, right, those.
No matter what they say to me, all I have to say is...
"No speakee Japanese".
If I do that, pretty much everything will work out fine.
What is this, elementary school!?
But Japanese really are easily swayed by that phrase.
Episode 82 "No need to worry"
We're screwed!
I'll be on the news... This'll be my first time on the 8 o'clock news!
You really are a great guy, Ric.
What are you talking about!?
You really don't get it, do you!
You say you don't want your dad to know you're here, but you're all worried about other people!
Thanks for coming and telling us so quick.
Wrong! That's not it!
I live here, so it's for my own sake!
Don't worry. About us or about your place.
Those are just empty words...
So why is what he said so reassuring?
It's somehow soothing my bitterness.
Would you like a cookie?
No thanks.
Anyway.
I have a reason to believe that we'll be fine here.
Really!?
Yeah. Even if it's come to this, for a long time now, I've had the area under the bridge...
Maybe he really is for real!
Sealed away by the sorcery of kappa barrier.
Under the four piers of the bridge are buried cucumbers smothered in rice bran.
I see.
And there's even a little kappa broth...
I knew it! We're screwed!
This results in pickles.
Episode 83 "Official"
No matter where Father goes, whenever he travels, he's sure to choose the shortest route.
And at great speed.
Yesterday, I heard the news that riverbanks were to be reopened for development.
I checked out the situation using my own methods, but...
I'll be right there!
Sorry, I don't think I can make it to Mass today.
Ministry of
I'm from the Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism.
Land, Infrastructure, Transport and Tourism.
I came to ask you to leave this riverbank.
You never truly understand that speed until it's used against you.
You're living pretty well for a—
Hold it!
This is a really nice room.
They already finished the survey!?
Isn't that too fast!?
When does the construction start!?
Here's the schedule.
The construction's still a ways off, but you should leave sooner rather than later.
After all, this is illegal.
You don't wanna cause the cops any trouble, do you...?
Bad news!
Someone from the MLIT came to tell us to leave?
Yes.
What is this!?
Let's blow him off!
They were just here yesterday!
Dammit, I let my guard down!
I should've set up traps for intruders yesterday night!
What's that nasty-looking thing?
What kind of intruders are you expecting!?
Why is this happening so fast, anyway!?
To be honest...
Those bastards from the MLIT!
Whitey!?
I can't believe someone as gentle as Whitey is this angry.
Then again, the riverbank is the home that they're trying to chase him out of.
Whitey, it's not them.
It isn't the MLIT...
It's really my father!
Never mind that!
If you have enough spare time for this, you'd be better off using it laying more white lines!
While we're wasting our time on this, more and more unlucky "Liners" like me are losing their paths!
Li... Liners?
Haven't you ever played the game where you try to make it home without stepping off the lines?
Rules
like
"leave
and
a girl
will
hit
you"
If you're not going to take responsibility, you shouldn't lay down white lines to begin with!
What are you, an abandoned cat?
I don't know if Whitey's tears were shed gravely or lightly.
Episode 84 "Pig"
What do we do!?
What do we do, bro!?
I don't know!
Ric, you're the only one who's met the official, right?
Everyone was gathered here for Mass this morning.
No, there's one person who never comes to Mass.
Hello! I'm here from the MLIT!
What's up with this riverbank, anyway? It's not like it's been in the news or anything...
What do you want?
I'd rather stick to having the only morning person I know be that transvestite.
Wow, she's hot!
Well, I'm here from the MLIT...
Oh, my, a bureaucrat. How wonderful.
I came to ask a favor...
Whatever could it be?
Why don't you spit it out, paper-shuffler.
To be honest, construction's going to start here soon, so we'd appreciate it if—
Wait, paper-shuffler?
Now, now. That's not how you ask a favor from someone.
You should be happy. I'm going to teach you I'm going to show you just how to talk to people, you little snot.
Wait, is that the official?
It's him!
Stay quiet, everyone!
He's a bit full of himself, so he might be brusque...
But he's got the weight of the government behind him! If we piss him off, who knows what'll happen!
I'm Suzuki from the MLIT...
Just an ugly pig who's being properly trained by the citizens...
I have a request for the citizens...
Um, did you...
I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm such an undisciplined pig!
Did you meet a lady wearing an apron before you came here?
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
When Maria wakes up, she's the very personification of sadism.
He's completely broken.
Episode 85 "Here"
He's a completely different person.
Hey, you there. Are they really going to build here?
Well, they aren't actually even accepting bids yet.
But it's pretty much a sure thing, so I came to give you advance warning.
I'm sorry!
The pig will be leaving now! I'm so sorry!
What do we do, Mayor?
They're really going to kick us out of here!
Nothing wrong with moving.
It might be fun to live nearer the source of the river.
You're that calm about it!?
I won't!
Nino!?
I want to stay here!
I don't want to be chased or pulled away any more!
That day, on the playground
We laughed without a reason
On my journey to pick up the pieces of my love
For some reason I'm always so lonely
I've got to get going, before the sky falls
Everything's in reverse, and I'm searching for you
Even though we're never going to arrive
Standing under the bridge, borne on the waves
We'll always be looking for an answer
Episode 86 "Arakawa Gag Contest"
A rock star's routine! The improvised song!
Name a topic, and I'll make up a song!
How about it? Come on!
Barley tea.
Octopus.
Magic.
Okay, baby!
Listen to my song!
Its title is...
"I'm cautious, so I always rent at least three DVDs at a time.
I thought at least one of them would do it for me, but they all sucked."
Sorry
Recall
Huh, wait, "Planet Barley Tea" is a two-disc set, isn't it!?
Huh, "Octopus Legend" is too!! All right, let's sing it together!
Don't touch it, it'll never let go of your fingers!
Nino was really talking about a pillbug.
It's like a big bang in your mouth!
What Nino drank was a soda.
That's a tough math problem.
Talking about a license plate.
Next time, 11 Bridge.
This narration provided with Nino's assistance.
Illustration: Kaworu Watashiya